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Good Laughs

Good laughs from 1929 periodical:

My old alarm clock
Oft caused me to weep.
I fooled it this morning,
I wasn't asleep.


Daughter: "Any new fashions in the paper, Dad?"
Dad: "No, dear, this is yesterday's paper."


The bride was anxious not to forget to order two chickens for dinner, so she repeated to herself while cleaning away the breakfast dishes:  "Grocer - chickens - grocer - chickens."  The words became confused in her mind, so when she went to the 'phone she asked:  "Have you any nice grocers?"  "Why - why, yes," replied the astonished grocer at the other end of the line.

"Well," said the bride, "send me two dressed."

"Dressed?" said the voice, more astonished than before.

"Why, no," answered the young wife, reflectively, "I believe you may send them undressed.  If my husband comes home early, he will wring their necks and the cook will dress them."




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For your next guild meeting,

serve Roly-poly Pudding from the 1850s:

The pastry for this favorite pudding may be made in three or four ways, according to the degree of richness required. For a superior pudding mix a pound of flour with a half pound of very finely-shred suet, freed from skin and fiber. Add a good pinch of salt, an egg, and nearly half a pint of milk.  More…

Roll it out three or four times. For a plainer pudding, mix five or six ounces of suet with a pound of flour, add a pinch of salt, and make a paste by stirring in a half a pint of water. When suet is objected to, rub six ounces of butter or six ounces of sweet dripping into a pound of flour, and proceed as before. When a similar quantity still of dripping is used, the addition of a spoonful of baking-powder sill help to make the pastry light. Roll out the pastry to a long thin form, a quarter of an inch thick, and of a width to suit the size of the saucepan in which it is to be boiled. Spread over it a layer of any kind of jam, and be careful that it does not reach the edges of the pastry. Begin at one end, and roll it up to fasten the jam inside, moisten the edges and press them securely together. Dip a cloth in boiling water, flour it well, and tie the pudding tightly in it. Plunge it into a saucepan of boiling water, at the bottom of which a plate has been laid to keep the pudding from burning, and boil quickly until done enough. If it is necessary to add more water, let it be put in boiling. Marmalade, treacle, sliced lemon and sugar, lemon-juice and sugar, chopped apples and currants, either separately of together, may be used instead of jam for a change. Time to boil the pudding, one hour and a half to two hours, according to the size.


Pleasure and Pain,

Reminiscences of Georgia in the 1840’s by Emily Burke (1850)

(Page 89)  “While I was on this plantation, the overseer’s wife made a quilting at which she invited the field slaves, both men and women.  It may seem strange to my readers to hear of men being invited to a quilting, but I can say to them that among the Southern field hands, the women can hoe as well as the men and the men can sew as well as the women, and they engage in all departments of labor according to the necessity of the case without regard to sex.  More…

This quilting party was held in the night, the first part of which was devoted to work on the quilt, the latter part to festivity and dancing.  Caroline, the overseer’s wife, was one of my best friends on this plantation, and from her I had learned the minutiae of the preparations for this scene.  And, when her quests had all assembled and were seated around the quilt, she sent for me to go and see them at work.  

It was most assuredly an amusing sight.  The men and women were seated promiscuously around the frame, very quietly yet as expeditiously plying the needle to all sorts of lines, both crooked and straight, as if their lives depended upon having the quilt out before midnight.  

But oh! What quilting!  It was, however, executed very much as one would suppose it would be by hands much more accustomed to wield the spade and shovel than the cambric needle.  They quilted with darning needles and traced their designs in charcoal, and I can assure you those athletic fingers drew no microscopic lines, but every one of them exhibited width and distinctness worthy of a heavy hand!

The entertainment Caroline served up for her company, with the permission from her master to provide just what she pleased, was well calculated to tempt the appetite of the most fastidious epicure.  Pastry of various kinds and frosted cake that would rival any thing of the kind coming from the confectioner’s oven, tea and coffee that a Frenchman might consider it a luxury to sip and fowls and ham and other meat most deliciously prepared, all together contributed to make up a feast that any ambitious landlady might be proud of.”



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Odds and Ends

(Peterson’s Magazine 1881)

Our lives are full of odds and ends,
First one and then another,
And though we see not how or when,
They’re deftly wove together.

The weaver has a master’s skill,
And proves it by this token,
No loop is dropped, no strand is missed,
And not a thread is broken.

And not a shred is thrown aside,
So careful is the weaver,
Who joining all, with wondrous skill,
Weaves odds and ends together.

Just Scraps - Quilts in Community Ohio's Traditions

From Quilts in Community Ohio's Traditions by the Ohio Quilt Research Project, 1991 we have these very interesting news stories and diary entries:

Painsville Telegraph
October 28, 1858

Ellen C. Thompson, a little girl between six and seven years old, had a Quilt of piece-work on exhibition at the late Fair.  Her little fingers have been turned to some account at a very early age.  We don't think that many little girls in this county can say as much.

Lucinda Cornell
Westerville, Franklin County
August 9, 1888
Ripped up 2 dresses, my wedding dress and an old brown dress that was Hollys, to make quilt of.

Godey's Lady's Book
December 1887

We regretted much the time and energy spent on the most childish, and unsatisfactory of all work done with the needle, "crazy" patchwork....

Miss Leslie's Lady's House-Book
1853

The custom of buying new calico, to cut into various ingenious figures for what was called handsome patch-work, has become obsolete.  - Eliza Leslie

Firelands Pioneer, 1858
Printed muslins, which now (1858) can be had for 6 cents, then (1811) cost 75 cents per yard. - Mrs. B. Williams


Just Scraps - The Mother's Book

The Mother's Book
By Mrs. Child, 1831

"A knowledge of domestic duties is beyond all price to a woman.  Every one ought to know how to sew, and knit, and mend, and cook, and superintend a household.  In every situation of life, high or low, this sort of knowledge is a great advantage.  There is no necessity that the gaining of such information should interfere with intellectual acquirement, or even with elegant accomplishments. 

A well regulated mind can find time to attend to all.  When a girl is nine or ten years old, she should be accomtomed to take some regular share in household duties, and to feel ressponsible for the manner in which it is done, - such as doing her own mending and making, washing the cups and putting them in place, cleaning the silver, dusting the parlor, &c. 

This should not be done occasionally, and neglected whenever she finds it convenient; she should consider it her department.  When they are older than twelve, girls should begin to take turns in superintending the household, keeping an account of weekly expenses, cooking puddings, pies, cake, &c. 

To learn anything effectually, they should actually do these things themselves, - not stand by, and see others do them.  It is a great mistake in mothers to make such slaves of themselves, rather than divide their cares with daughters.  A variety of employment, and a feeling of trust and responsibility, add very much to the real happiness of young people."


Just Scraps - Sayings

Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one. (unknown)

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it. (Alfred Hitchcock)

Adventure is worthwhile. (Amelia Earhart)

If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed. (Beau Brummel)

Genius without education is like silver in the mine. (Ben Franklin)

"I want to see the boss of the house," said the peddler to Mrs. D., who had answered the ring.  'I'm sorry,' she replied, as she gently closed the door, 'but the baby is asleep just now."  
Home & Health, 1907


Just Scraps - Advice

Mother’s advice:  Because I said so, that’s why.

Mother's advice:  Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.

Mother's advice:  It's only your mother who's going to tell you the truth.

Mother's advice:  I suppose you think you're not going to be a parent one day too.

Mother's advice:  I'm not asking you - I'm telling you.

19th Century Slang:  Biggest toad in the puddle - most important person in a group.

19th Century Slang:  catawamptiously chewed up - utterly defeated, badly beaten.

Franklin D. Roosevelt: “Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway.”

Louisa May Alcott:  "Housekeeping ain't no joke."  "Now we are expected to be as wise as men who have had generations of all the help there is, and we scarcely anything."

Mark Twain:  "A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."

Did you know this about children's games:  Swings existed on the island of Crete since 1600 BC, and jacks or knucklebones, a game that involves tossing and then catching five or more jacks, evolved from ancient Greece. Follow-the-leader goes back to the 12th century. Blind man's bluff dates back more than 2,000 years. Other games from the past include spinning tops, flying kites, playing with marbles, hide-and-seek, cat's cradle - all of them are known around the world.



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